yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
