So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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