I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize