in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
