I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
