do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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