Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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