Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
