LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
