I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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