i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
