We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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