false alarm. still invincible.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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