I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize