Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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