thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
They are going to name an STD after you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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