I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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