I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
