Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
