Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
