we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
