no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
