The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten