just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do