You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
