This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
