Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am naked and annoyed.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
