i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
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just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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