sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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