I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He better not be in your backpack
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
