as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My feet surprised me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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