I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
