i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
