Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize