shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
