I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We are two peas in an std pod
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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