Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
