You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
