Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize