im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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