I accidentally had phone sex last night
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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