i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
