Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
