Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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