My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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