Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
