so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
