Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
