We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
