i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
