Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
