I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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