someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We have so much sex to catch up on
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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