garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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