I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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