another moral hangover. fuck.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
