she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
